Big_Toenails, also known as Alan, Passed away on 01.08.2025. He had been battling with his mental health for many years, and after a lot of suffering, he sent me a message, saying he had had enough. I found out a week later, that he was in a coma. After chatting with his wife, I decided to play a Tiktok live in his honour, which she and their family played for Alan, and he sadly passed away a few hours later. We were all devastated. Alan was a friend and a moderator, seemingly the life and soul of the party, but underneath, he suffered a lot of pain, both physically and mentally. Alan was my inspiration for setting up the Music For Mental Health website. He loved music, he used to say it helped him, and he loved the lives, but sadly, the physical and mental pain he suffered became too much for him.
To most people here, he was Big_Toenails. To his family and friends, he was Alan.
Alan wasn’t just a moderator on my lives. He was part of them. He loved his music, he loved the banter, and underneath it all was somebody who cared deeply and who became a very important part of our little community.
He was one of the people who encouraged me and supported what I was doing, long before Music for Mental Health became what it is today. In fact, Alan became part of the reason it exists.
His playlist is still here. His photograph is still here. His name is still spoken in our lives. And whenever one of his songs comes on, Big Toenails is still very much part of the room.
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